Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize