Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
