After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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