And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
