...so i touched it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
