dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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