Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
