We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
