well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
