there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dignity is for republicans.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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