How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
