If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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