Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
