I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
