i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
