After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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