Sponge bath it is.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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