I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
