i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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