I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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