I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
