I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
