You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
