The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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