We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there is puke in my bra ... again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
