I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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