Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it's like iHOP with fire
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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