I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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