Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
