If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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