I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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