when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
