This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
