i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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