Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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