sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
