I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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