guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
