we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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