Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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