this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
