I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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