May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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