My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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