It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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