...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
