Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
