those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
