btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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