Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
