his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
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I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
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I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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