Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize