Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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