Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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