quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
