I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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